I'm terrible... maybe someday I will get better

I am terrible and blogging for a number of reasons 1. I never post. If I do they are mostly meaningless or just random things I decided to post. 2. I need to be better at putting my real feelings and my real thoughts. No more of this holding back my feeling. 3. I am not very good at writing what I am really thinking. Hopefully I will get better the more I write. With that said.....

This semester I had to take English. Oh it is just great!!!  My teacher is seriously the most nerdy awesome human being I have ever met. He makes class really fun! Well now we have to write a personal essay. This is just an experience that has made us us( us as meaning my class). Well me being the deep person I am (sense the sarcasm) I decided to write about a very personal experience that is kind of heavy, thinking that no one would read it, I wrote it. When I went to class on Monday I learned that my paper was going to be randomly handed out to some kid in my class. So as I write, some kid in my class is reading my paper!!!! I am kind of freaking out right now!!! I never let anyone read my paper(s) (except Micaille, cos she edits them) so tomorrow I will get the feed back on my paper... hopefully it is good, but mostly likely I will leave the classroom leaving feeling a down, but hey at least I wrote the paper right?

Cookin' in college

My camera is collecting a lot of pictures. I should share them. So to start off food! I love cooking and to prove that I do cook here are some pictures

 

Peanut butter balls
(I had trouble melting the chocolate)

Better then sex cake!
Halloween treat!

I took it out of the dish perfectly

Sometimes I cook steak dinner

I also make bread sticks 

This is made every for weeks in 404

These were made today!
so good
Micaille and I are a team!

She makes the frosting I make the cupcakes

Peanut butter!!!!

Again.... And I might be embarrassed

Remember that one post when I was scared? Well if not its this on right here. I am here again. Only this time it is worst. Yup worst. The wind. It's blowing. Blowin' hard. That's all.

I have done a lot of thinking lately. Why did I start this blog? Well if you read this post you'll find out why. My reasons are still the same but I have added a few more reasons to my list. I seriously started this just for myself. I want something I look and remember forever. This will be here forever. I want to remember my feelings and emotions. I haven't really been honest about my feelings on this blog so starting now I am. I am terrible at writing ( but you probably already now that). I am even worst at writing my feelings and being totally honest. It is because I am embarrassed. I am worried people will judge me by my blog ( I shouldn't really worry cos I know no one reads it), but still I worry. Oh well I am just going to have to get over it.

Have you ever heard of safety suit?? If not go listen to them. I love them. Their songs are so good. I wrote a paper on this song.

Waiting to bush my teeth

Right now I am waiting to bush my teeth. I would be in bed asleep but that is the joys of only having one bathroom. This week has been just wonderful! 

I learned that wearing Keds around campus is not a good idea when there is snow on the ground. 

1st off it creates a very slippery walking situation and can cause numbness on the top as well as the bottom of your feet.

Having a car right now would be just perfect.

I wished I had a car, not having a car suck. 

I just keep reminding myself that great things come to those who wait. 

I am waiting very patiently.  I need a car to get a job. I need a job to save to go to Africa.

I really want to go. Next summer. With her. I hope everything will work out.

This last week I went home for the weekend. 

My parents teach the gospel principles class in church. 

So I went. I was super embarrassed.

I just started crying and I could stop. 

I don't even know why. 

Well I do but that is a story for later.

I can go brush my teeth now. 

Then I am off to bed

5 days later

I returned only 5 days after I left my home to go back to Logan. It was a 3 day weekend. I was homesick. So I  came home. I am going backup tomorrow. It has been nice to be home. I really didn't don much. 

Friday I sat home all night. 

Saturday I took Jared to the girls All American meet so he could watch his girlfriend compete (ok she is not really his girlfriend, but I can tell when they get older they are totally going to have a thing).

My dad, Lewis (Jared, He had a lot of nicknames) and I went to Texas Road house. We(as in my dad) spent a lot of money. $11.00 dollars on onions and mushrooms haha. I did enjoy my salmon covered in saute mushrooms and onions with mash potatoes and a yummy specialty drink. 

I spent a lot of time with my family this week. I need to introduce you to my family. Oldest to youngest. 

Tanner

Right now he is on his LDS mission. He is returning home in about 13th months ( we think... look at this post to know why). I love Tanner. Me and him became really close my senior year of high school. We are seriously like best friends. I miss him a lot. He has the loudest voice. He is just a loud person without even trying to be loud. He is so friendly and now scared to talk to anyone.

This is just to show a little of Tanner personality

Now there is me, but I will skip myself

Jack is next  A.K.A. Johnny, Johnathan. He is just great! He can't walk so he is in a wheel chair. He never lets it get him down. He is all cowboy. He loves skiing. 

Not to pick favorite but I love Jared. Me and him are so similar. I think that is why we get a long so well. Jared is just buff. He is really into gymnastic. He spends 22 hours a week at his gym. He loves to cook and our dog Tex.

Brenen is so cute. He is 12 and it shows. He just bugs everyone. haha Lacrosse is his sport.

Kaydie is everyone's favorite. She is diffidently the baby. She growing up so fast. I wish I was home to see her grow up. 

I can't forget my parents. I love them.They are amazing. 

sometimes life just sucks

Tomorrow I am going back to Logan. I ready to go but then I am not for a few reasons. One being I have freakin' Mono ( for like the 5th time). On top if mono I have a slight ear infection and a cold. Life is not going to swell for me at the moment. I had kind of a meltdown last night. I guess right now I am kind of frustrated with my life right now,but that is ok. Life is meant for ups and down. How can we enjoy the ups if there are no downs.
Right now if honesty time for me. A lot of times I let my frustrations the wrong ways. Its not healthy. I also expect people to know that somethings is wrong so it makes me mad when they don't say anything. Which is bad. I have a lot of personal feelings to fix. Yesterday when I had a little melt down I just emailed my brother. He always says the best things. I miss him a lot lately. I really miss him. Only 17 more months. Sadly it was only supposed to be 9 more months?
Have I ever told what happened to him? If not I will. If I have here it is again.
 My brother him right here-->
Got his mission call to mexico. He left on October 13th  2010. He was supposed to come home October 2012. Well he came home 2 months after he left for medical reasons. No doctor really knew what was wrong with him. Finally after be home for 2 months they figured out what was wrong ( I would tell you but I dont know how to spell it and to explain it would be just to long). He got surgery and was good to go in June so he left again June 6th. So minus the 2 months he was in the MTC he will be home April 2013. Oh I forgot to mention that he got reassigned to Atlanta Georgia Spanish speaking.
well that is his story.

I think that is going to be all for now. I need to pack and haven't even started.

I'm just a little scared.. no big deal

Many people... well only a couple (mainly my roommates) know how obsessed I am with weddings. Why? I don't know? Possibly because according to my brain type I am a dreamer ( or so I am told by this girl ( you should go it her blog and read it. post of comment. She'll love it)). I looking at wedding stuff. I am constantly on pinterest just looking at the wedding category. I have found the perfect wedding dress, the perfect ring. I know my colors. I want to get married in the winter. I know what I want my brides maids to where. I am only missing a few things.
First, the man. I am sure he will come along sometime but it better not be till at least 2014 (December of that month or early 2015).Ya I think that is a good year(s) to get married.
Second I decided I don't really like wedding cakes. I need to find something to replace the cake or just find the perfect cute cake.
I am not really worried about any of it though. I still have more then 2 years most likely closer to 3.

Enough with the dreaming, on to more serious stuff.
Have you ever slept in an attic alone? well I am right now. I am sleeping at my aunts house tonight and decided to sleep in the bed up in the attic/toy room. I ain't gonna lie. I am just a wee bit scared, This house kind of frightening. Its old and makes weird noises. Hopefully I am still here tomorrow. If not I most likely got eaten by the ghost. I am going to try to sleep now. Good Night.

Boy meets world

I have watched every single episode in order.
I started watching it about a month ago
I just barley finished it.
It probably would have taken me longer but since of break I had a lot of time on my hands.
Yes I finished 3 1/2 seasons (which 70 episodes in less then 3 weeks(pathetic! I know)).
If your bored I would go watch it. All episodes!!!
They make you laugh so hard! I love it!