wedding dreams

This week I have been around a lot of weddings. I was at temple square Tuesday and Friday this week. I also went to my cousins wedding on Saturday. Seeing all the brides this weeks has made me really want to get married now. I am now dreaming of my wedding. even though I don't want to get married until I get at least 2 years of school finished. I can't wait to plan my wedding more importantly meet the man I am going to marry.

Hopefully he will look a little like this.

or maybe like this

I am sure by the time I get married my taste will change and I will end up with a totally different wedding dress then what I really like now but one thing is for sure I am marrying a cowboy. 

The wedding dress I like

Ring 

I can't decide which one I like better

I will be wearing these under my wedding dress

(these are the same ones my cousin wore under her dress)

I want to get married in the Oquirrh Mountain temple

My dream house that I will live in someday

Right now this is all fun and games but I am really excited to see how my life is going to play out. 

S.O.A.R.

On monday I went up to Utah State with Dani and Kai. We had our student orientation. It was great! we had fun. Even though it was all day long. I finally decided what I wanted to do.  I am going to get elementary education and special education degree. I am really glad I found somethings that I know I am going to enjoy. It became clear to me one night that I need to be a teacher. I struggled to figure out what kind of teacher. I wanted to teach High school but really didn't know what subject I would teach. As I was sitting listening to a women speak on the kind of teaching degrees you could get she mentioned the degree I am choosing to pursue. When the women mentioned it I knew that is what I wanted to do.It made sense to me.  I can teach grades 1-6 normally and I will able to teach grades 1-12 in Special Education. This totally fits what I have always wanted to do. I am so glad that I have found something that I know I am going to enjoy. I am starting to get really excited!! About 9 weeks left then I am a goner.

Frustration

Today youth conference started! I wasn't going to go in the first place since I had to the choice, but Alexis talked me into it. Now I wish she didn't. I want to stay home tomorrow. These feelings started as the day went on. They just seemed to get worst. I was excited to go. I didn't have any hard feelings when they day began. The change of feeling started when Alexis and I were put in  the same group I thought "Yes! this is going to be great!" NOPE! wrong. It has been bad. My counselor drives me insane. She ruined it for me. I tried really hard for her not to bug me but I guess I didn't try hard enough cos she does. My group consists of Alexis, me, 5 other girls that are from the same ward, who knows how many boys and my 2 just wonderful counselors (sense the sarcasm). I am frustrated. I will have to see how tomorrow turns out. When we had journal time tonight I promised myself that tomorrow will be a new day. I am going to put our differences aside ( trust me... there a some pretty big differences) and just see her in God eyes. I am keeping my promise. I am not totally blaming my counselor for my wrong feelings that is why I decided to change myself. I am they only person I have control over in this situation. I am going to try and fix this. I will fix this.

see ya!

Tanner left on Monday. I never thought he would leave (he was starting to drive my CRAZY!!!). I never thought he would come back in the first place. When a missionary leaves I don't think that the possibility of them coming home even crosses their minds. or even their friends and families minds. I remember the day Tanner came home. It was tough. I cried. I never thought he would. The thought never crossed my mind. When my family learned that tanner might have to come home I just prayed that he would get better. When he didn't I was disappointed. I wanted him so badly to stay. He so badly wanted to stay.  Now I am so grateful that he came home and got to spend 6 extra months with him. I got to get closer to him. I loved coming home on weekend nights and going up stairs to watch criminal minds with him and  to just talk. Now I come home and watch it by myself and think he is gone, but how grateful I am that he choose to go back out the mission field. I know when he got reassigned he was sad that he didn't get to go back to where he so patiently waited to go. From all of this I learned that heavenly father is so aware of  us and knows exactly what we need. He knows that other people need us. I truly believe that someone in Georgia needs my brother. He has the power to change their hearts. it is either that or his future wife awaits him there.  A lesson can be learned from any experiences we have in life. I learned a wonderful lesson from this experience and I will treasure it forever!

 Right before he left

best buds!!

I love Tanner and I am glad that he is gone he was starting to bug, I think he was just so ready! he was just waiting on the lord. My family has defiantly learned that god has his own times table. 

Graduation!

538 names. 8speakers. 2 1/2 hours long. That pretty much sums up my Graduation. My mom insisted on going early to take pictures with my cousin. Her graduation was right before mine.

Tika and I so excited to graduate!!!

Right before graduation

We graduated!

All I asked for graduation was a cake

My Best friends

Being graduated doesn't feel any different... But as i reflect back on my high school years I am so grateful them. I have only one regret. I wish I wasn't so shy. My new goal for college is to make as many friends as I can and just talk to everyone!