unintended

I love college, BUT I hate it. I miss home. I am just so full of emotions right now. I just might break down and cry. I am stressed with a few tests coming up this week. I am stressed with math. I just want to be home. I miss my family. I miss my friends(the few that I have).

Something I am beginning to really realize a lot of things about myself. Some of them good some of them frustrate me. I seriously thought college was going to be a lot different then it is. I mean a lot of it is what I expect but a lot isn't.

I am really proud of myself. I am staying strong to what I believe. I'm not gonna lie.This may sound cheesy but When I first moved out I was thinking now I can wear what I want. I can wear my second earring and no one would really care. I haven't done any of that. I really thought I would, but I put that second earring or put on my dress that is a little short, I just can't leave my house. At first I wondered why. Now I know. When I would put those things on I would think what kind of boys would I attract if I wear this? Not the ones that I want to marry. This may sound even cheesier but I feel one of the reasons I am up here is to find someone to marry.(which is not going to be till my brother gets home). I want to attract the kind of men that I know I am going to marry.

Something I was not expecting is how you can not get a long with someone. You thought they were one way but the are totally different. I love my roommates. I really do. I am so grateful for them. I am so glad we all have the same beliefs and now what and who we stand for. I know that I am diffidently going to learn patience this year.

On the happy side of things. I just returned from the funnest dance EVER!! the paint dance!! So fun. Words can't even describe. I was soaked in paint. My hair was dripping. I was in the VERY front. Such I fun night. (Pictures to come later and more details).